Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 21, 2007, at 21:20:04
In reply to Re: My old T called, posted by muffled on August 21, 2007, at 19:13:15
Oh, Muffy , thank you so much, your words are a huge encouragement for me because I am scared. But I think part of this will be good for me too. As much as he has hurt me, I still adore him really. He can be defensive, but I think he will more likely take some fault too. He has admitted to me when he has messed up if he feels that way. I took his words so personally, I felt like a piece of sh*t.
I don't think he will hurt me again, I think he will in a sense still be in my corner, we both know I have a new T, so we both know it is our last session, and he knows I want to clear the air with him. He really is a good T, but I think his feelings scared him, really, they try to be so "uneffected" that when they are, especially if they have been a T for a long time, it scares them. He always said you can't help what you feel. I still feel a deep connection to him that I haven't ever been able to talk about with him, because of his resisitance. I don't plan on bringing this up with him again, I plan to work on it with my new T.
I think this will be my hardest session yet, I am scared, but I am going to do it for me.I believe me and my old T has done a lot of good for myself in a lot of ways, he still has to feel good about that, I know I do. My new T said he (my old T ) did a lot of the work, but my new T said he will finish off the job. That felt good that he thinks I am "finishable".
Thanks Muffy, I hope you will be around for the next week or so, I will really need some support and encouragement. I think this session will be so hard and gut wretching, I know I will cry, but hopefully I will feel better for doing the right thing. I miss him already, I really do, but at least we can end our relationship on a positive note, and that means a lot to me for the chance to do that.
poster:Happyflower 1 :-)
thread:777619
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/777693.html