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Re: I think I was rude today Dinah

Posted by muffled on August 21, 2007, at 14:00:15

In reply to I think I was rude today, posted by Dinah on August 21, 2007, at 12:45:46

> I described CBT as very useful skills training, and since that's mostly what he does, I think I insulted him. He merely mildly said it was a different sort of therapy.

**ummm, it IS useful skills training...
My T is pretty CBT trained (adlerian) and I used to think that stuff was dumb, but I have come to realize its very important.
But along WITH the CBT stuff, my T learned me how to trust her. She also was unconditionally accepting of me, even when I tried to push her away...
She was patient and never gave up on me, even when she didn't really know what to do w/me. She still stuck w/me cuz she knew there wasn't much alternatives.
So CBT training is good, but its also accompanied with alot of other 'stuff'.
Like we talk bout stuff in our lives too.
So yeah, it is a diff sort of therapy.
But Dinah, I'm not clear where the insult was?
It must have been in the tone of your voice?

> I think that maybe I did it on purpose. He was marveling at how many people on Babble cared enough about their therapist to not want to lose them. And compared that to his usual clientele who had no desire to see him very long, and many of his colleagues who would consider therapy of longer than eight months to be doing a disservice to their clients. He thought it was unusual that so many of us were gathered in one place where we could discuss it. I admitted that we might be a self selected group, and I said that I didn't think I had really started therapy until five years in, and that maybe his colleagues had never spent enough time to start therapy. And then added that he had taught me a lot of useful CBT skills in those first few months.

**hmmm, your doc better not be dissing babble...grrr...;-)
And I can see where it might be hard to hear the thing bout where his colleagues don't approve of over 8 mo.
But by the same token, diff therapies, diff issues, diff T's, etc, all come into play....
Does your T ever read babble? He might find it interesting.

> But I think perhaps my feelings were hurt. I'm trying to figure out if it's reasonable to feel hurt, or if there really wasn't any implied criticism in what he said.

**I doubt there was any implied critisism, I think he was just stating a fact, but you never really know until you ask...
But I can totally understand where you would feel hurt. I would be the same. I have a tendancy to extrapolate things my T has said, and she called me on it, and she was right. That was towards the end, when after 2+ years, she was FINALLY starting to 'get' me. Thru not fault of her own of course, I didn't speak!

> I called and left a brief apology for what I said, and said I realized it wasn't fair. But I didn't say anything about why I said it.

**I am slightly lost here..what was it that you said that you apologized for? What wasn't fair about it?
And why did you say it?
Lord almighty, I am feel so dense these days.
Its proly clear, but could you further clarify? Or not.
Take care Dinah, glad to see you posting.




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