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Re: Thanks so much, everyone. » jammerlich

Posted by OzLand on August 5, 2007, at 21:59:19

In reply to Thanks so much, everyone., posted by jammerlich on August 5, 2007, at 16:21:05

jammer; I am so sorry. I had a similar experience with my previous therapist who wanted me to find someone else because I got angry with him. So, I tried not to be angry again and be the good little patient and do what ever he wanted me to including the damn ECT. Anyway, even after all that, he turned on me again. He had always said it was okay to call him, to email him about matters like Rx or appt. times, etc, and he never charged me extra for this. Then, after I could not contain myself and was angry about the ECT and said that I thought anyone who did ECT (he used to be the ECT guy at U of C), was sadistic. He then yelled at me, and I mean yelled and said he was NOT sadistic, etc. I started to unravel and had to look at a spot on the wall as I felt I was being "abused." I told him I was dissociating, and his comment was that it was okay for me to do that; he said it was normal. Well, I know better than that. For me it was/is not normal, and after two years I would think he would know too--especially since I bore my soul to him. OUt of nowhere he started to charge me for messages I left on the phone or emails or even journaling I did and gave him copies. I was shocked.

So, I knew I had to find someone else, and I was so hurt; I could not stop crying--day and night. I found who I thought might be a good therapist from researching him, and I called to make an appointment. I was shocked that he actually made an appt. with me, and I thought it was just for deciding if he could work with me or not and whether he would want to. He said no; he wanted to work with me, and of course I questioned his sanity. We spent several sessions going over what happened with my previous therapist. He is a very seasoned analyst with 30 years of experience dealing with folks who have csa and other trauma in their history, dealing with eating disorders, and dealing with bipolar disorder. So re my csa, he knows what he is doing, and he is actually doing therapy with me rather than just listeing and making comments once in awile or giving his opinion. This is what my old therapist did, and it persisted for two years that he thought I should do ECT. When I told him (my old therapist) I found someone else to see and had already seen the person one time and felt this was better for me, he then acknowledged that he was wrong about the dissociating stuff.

Bottom line, I still care about my old therapist, but I can see that my current (new) therapist is going to be and already is (after 3 months) more of what I need in terms of doing therapy. He is well trained in terms of boundaries, etc. I am very happy with him, and ironically he wants me to say when I am angry with him. I have , and he does not react in kind. I think I am still testing the waters though.

So, it sounds like your therapist did violate boundaries, and then when you went back, she decided she made a mistake and decided to have stricter boundaries. Too bad she could not own up to her part and explain this to you. Of course you would be confused and hurt. I know this hurts something awful, but I don't know that her owning up to her part in messing up things for you would leave you feeling any better.

I still miss my old therapist, and I would like for him to be happy for me that I found someone who can truely help me. I don't know what he would have to say. He commented when I said who I was going to see that my therapist has an excellent reputation in the area. He also almost cried when we parted for the last time; I could tell, and he almost gave me a hug and thought better of it at the last minute and just grabbed my upper arms with his hands and then let go really quick.

I wish you could see my new therapist. You would feel so much better. I want everyone who ends up with a badly behaving therapist who they thought was doing right by them and was not to be able to find one that is really good and really helps. I most certainly wish this for you. That person is out there!!!

OzLand


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:OzLand thread:773092
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070726/msgs/774200.html