Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 10, 2007, at 18:02:53
In reply to Re: Seeing T at his home [office], posted by Dinah on July 10, 2007, at 17:24:22
First of all, he gave me good directions so I didn't get lost. I arrived 7 minutes early, which is my goal. I parked on the street, which is okay in his 'hood.
He told me which door to go in, and to my relief it was only a screen door, not a real door. Otherwise *aWkWaRd* moment as I decide whether there's a doorbell to wring. (sic).
His waiting room looked a lot like his office waiting room. Same oriental carpet, magazines. lamps. little table with coffee and H2O on the side. He offered me when he came in, but I declined, because I didn't want to have to find out what the bathroom was like. no thank you.
His office was slightly bigger and much tidier than at the professional building. His chair was EXACTLY the same, down to the little footstool.
Okay all is going well. T is smiling a lot*. T is kind of figeting. T! put your legs together. I don't need a crotch shot. T! stop crossing your legs in wierd ways. T! your body language is wierd. But he was making sense. Telling me that the way I expose myself to violent situations is a bit like a moth to a flame. Talked about some of the issues I have with my mood's dependency on drugs. Maybe I need extra antipsychotic prn for these episodes I have. (yeah, I had pretty scary one this week). Same old thing. Saw a movie that was intense, then I kind of got really disoriented on the ride home. Didn't recognize where my husband was taking me. Wanted to cut and kill myself. dark thoughts with continuous soundtrack of "you stupid louse. why can't you f*cking snap out of it. loser. psycho. etc."
So it was a good session.
We arranged my next 2 sessions. fortunately at the regular professional office.
2 interesting things. When I got up to leave, he got up and followed me out. he was walking like both of his legs had fallen asleep totally. I asked him if that was the case. Nope. He had KNEE SURGERY only 4 days ago. Hence- why he couldn't go into the office. Hence wierd body language.
and *happiness. Perhaps he's on some good medication... there was one interesting comment in retrospect. I was complaining about how I hate the feeling of having to fill Rx for controlled substances (I take 2 of them). He smiled and said "you'd be surprised at the number of people who walk around with controlled substances in their purses... or pockets..." T's got vicodin for sure.
Oh, and right as I was leaving to go, he asked me a question (Is there anything about my vacation that I'm not looking forward to, that might lead to aforementioned episode?). OMG. stuff my foot in my (curses) mouth. I blurted out "SEX". And then I got an extra 5 minutes in my session to discuss THAT. lucky me. Okay, so I guess this T will work out. I blurted that out and don't even regret it, and he handled it nicely, no canned cheesy lines, asked good questions, didn't seem disarmed. I sure was though (OMG, what have I SAID?!?!?)
my new pdoc and quieT are in cahoots. Officially. Wonder if a faster-acting benzo is in the works for aforementioned episodes. Wonder if the geodon will ever be switched to something that doesn't require my getting 10.5 hours of sleep just to function. mmm...
ta-ta
-Ll
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:768695
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070628/msgs/768794.html