Posted by muffled on July 5, 2007, at 23:47:58
In reply to So , thats it., posted by muffled on July 5, 2007, at 23:23:50
and its not that I don't like her.
I got mixed feelings cuz its hard.
But I don't think she can do no more for me.
She did good at what she did do.
But we can go no further.
She don't 'get' dissociation.
I can't seem to explain it very good.
So she's lost as to what to do and flounders.
And so I shut up, cuz I not feel understood, and I nervous.
Safety becomes an issue.
Nowhere is safe. I was starting to think mebbe T was safe, but its not really, not to me.
So I Done.
Maybe I do OK.
I have my skills I have learned.
Maybe this is the best I can do.
I mean w/T, I hope to somehow continue to improve.
Guess the only thing i pissed bout is she a xstian T, and she said she would do reading w/me, and she sorta did, and I struggling like hell w/religion, and she knows it, and I kinda hinted at it again, that mebbe we could do bible stuff together some,in the summer, but she just totally weren't going there.
I think she not got alotta use for me really. I think any shine I had was dulled upon her knowing how nuts I am.
Now I think mebbe she just wants to extricate herself from me.
But she SO nice, that she doing it in the nicest of ways.
But I KNOW.
I OK on surface, but best to have some walls I suspect, and hide the bad.
Show the good only.
Then people think you SO wonderful.
I got lotsa wonderful, but I got lotsa bad too....
I mixed up.