Posted by LLurpsieNoodle on June 26, 2007, at 18:40:46
quieT told me that I'm a "very appealing client". What does THAT mean? It means I present a very nice social self.
The dark side is that I have expectations of others (sometimes) that if I treat them well they'll treat me well. Setting myself up for hurt and misunderstanding.
I want my landlord to like me. That's why I'm obsessively cleaning, even though I've lived in one apt for so long, and they're going to have to redo all the floors anyway (badly cracked and non-adhered tiles) and repaint. So why bother sweeping? vacuuming?
The movers come tomorrow. H has to work. That means it's me on my own. I hope the movers aren't too scary. :(
I know why I want people to like me. It's because I don't want to be hurt. At what price, these niceties. making promises I cannot keep. exhaustion. worrying about complete strangers rather than my most important relationships (me and myself, and me and H).
head hurts. A/C is uninstalled. muggy today. took 2 showers already, and the night is young. I have completed my list- except for packing the sewing machine. And the computer. and the router. After the movers come I have one lonely night in my place. me, my luggage. my laptop. a smattering of utilities. some instant food.
babble. klonopin (decided to give away my bourbon to a friend, along with this 20dollar bag of frozen shrimp. can't eat it, might as well pass it along, huh?)
I ramble. because I can't stop.
the end.
poster:LLurpsieNoodle
thread:766002
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/766002.html