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Re: S***! I fell for him! » DisTraught

Posted by gazo on April 18, 2007, at 8:51:53

In reply to S***! I fell for him!, posted by DisTraught on April 18, 2007, at 8:20:41

i doubt it has *nothing* to do with transference.. even if he is your kind of guy. But i am of the opinion that all attraction has an element of transference.

Ask yourself: how much do you know about him IRL?

Sessions are all about you, it's the full attention of someone on you. The caring and listening is alluring. i don't know if i would call that transference in the original definition of the term... but it isn't the same as falling for someone outside of therapy either.

The most useful thing you can do, regardless of whether it's transference, is to examine just what it is that makes him "your type." That is where the big money answers are. For me, it was the lack of aggression, the calmness, the compassion... and he was physically my kind of guy too. i liked his subtle humour and there was a touch of shyness that really got me. So, i know that i felt attracted because i was starving for tenderness..

some T's think that attraction/attachment/transference will make working together impossible, but most don't. They understand it's normal and see the value in it.

are you planning to tell him?


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