Posted by TherapyGirl on March 29, 2007, at 19:38:32
In reply to Anniversary Letter to T (might be slight trigger), posted by TherapyGirl on March 26, 2007, at 19:57:54
Thanks to all of you for all of your help with this. I think my T really liked the Mother and Child Shona Stone and she understood the symbolism completely.
She didn't cry when she read the letter, but her eyes got a little wet and she hugged me for a long time. Then she said in my ear, "You're special to me. I know I'm not supposed to say that, but you're very special to me."
Then we spent some time talking about those first few years. She said she always knew I "was in there." We talked about her recognizing the scared little girl almost immediately and how patient and comfortable she was with waiting for me to feel safe. We talked a little bit about the therapists who are very uncomfortable with sitting in silence (especially for years). We also talked about why she wasn't afraid of me when I was driving by her house. She said she thought it helped that even though she was new as a therapist, she was older (this was a 2nd career for her), so she had some maturity and life experience that younger Ts don't have. She confirmed that she was never afraid of me because she always knew I was in there and she wasn't at all confused by the things I did.
She also pointed out that I didn't mention the times I've been furious with her in the letter (and y'all have witnessed some of that). I told her it didn't seem appropriate to put that in a thank you letter. She said it was an important part of our relationship and that part of our connection was based on our ability to get through the anger (I'm not saying this as well as she did). Anyway, it was very different from the way I was raised, which is that you get furious, you act out on it and then you sweep it under the rug and never mention it again.
It's a miracle when you find the right T, isn't it?
Thanks again for the ideas, advice, support and most of all for being a safe place to talk about this stuff.
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:744462
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070324/msgs/745287.html