Posted by Reggie BoStar on March 15, 2007, at 3:06:01
Something isn't right this time, memory has been going fast the last few days. I can't come up with words that I want to say and am having trouble with crosswords now. I seem to feel hypomanic and depressed at same time all day. I should go to bed but I am afraid that this will set off another sleeping jag. I almost had one last night, slept 15 hrs and had to force myself out of bed.
The record was last Dec or Jan, 60+ hours. I woke up from time time to drink bottles of Ensure (meal in a can), feed cats, go to john, then right back to sleep. There was no trouble sleeping either. I was out cold, no dreams, no nothing. I didn't take meds either for 4 days, then started up again.
I tried to see my doc but he said he was booked and if it got worse to go to E.R. So what, now I'm supposed to wait for an emergency? What do I do in the meantime, waiting for this emergency to happen? First time he ever did that to me since 1988.
The therapist said not to "take this personally" but she will not see me until the 22nd. I go to AA meetings a lot but this is not enough and besides AA doesn't help with this anyway. There is one dual diagnosis mtg but that is on the 21st, not much help this week.
I was trained not to trust this sort of thing, that it was "just nerves" or that I was bringing on my self, or that I was lying or just wimped out and didn't want to do anything. This is why I'm very sensitive to people acting the way the MD and therapist are. "Don't take it personally, but I can't see you now when you need it. Go someplace else if it gets worse."
Now this takes me back to when I was 10 and this nonsense started, 47 yrs ago when my parents talked the same way. Except they were more "vocal" about it.
I'm doing this here and on other boards because I figure tomorrow I'll get out of bed long enough to boot the PC, go online, and find out if there are answers. Whether or not I get any, by that time I'll be out of bed. There should be enough time to grab a diet coke while doing this, so I'll get a jolt of caffeine.
That's the plan for tomorrow. Have a good one, folks.
Reggie BoStar
poster:Reggie BoStar
thread:741173
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/741173.html