Posted by toojane on February 3, 2007, at 11:08:09
In reply to Re: Abusive therapist *TRIGGER*, posted by vwoolf on February 3, 2007, at 8:51:42
> I have also spent time in psychiatric hospitals, so I know the shame you are talking about.
Vwoolf, we seem to have a lot of unfortunate things in common. It is so wonderful to be able to connect with you. Other than the people I was hospitalized with at the time, I have never talked with anyone else who has spent time in a psychiatric hospital.
>Worse than the shame though is the sense that I am crazy, both because my thoughts and obsessions feel crazy at times and because it was confirmed by being hospitalised - sort of like getting the certificate.
I totally get what you mean by the "certificate" both literally and figuratively. I had a stack of them because they kept committing me. After one committal ran out, they'd commit me again and hand me a piece of paper to make it official.My therapist insists that I'm not crazy and I'm like, okay, if I'm not crazy, how come they locked me up in a hospital for crazy people.
> I don't really have a diagnosis apart from depression and anxiety. I struggle to accept PTSD as a diagnosis because it feels like all the blame is being placed on the traumatic situation and doesn't explain the feelings of madness inside me.
Since 9/11, with PTSD being in the news so much and everybody claiming to have it, I think it may be the least stigmatizing of the mental illnesses to have. Maybe?? For exactly that reason you state. Because the blame can be placed on the traumatic situation instead of on some flaw inside the person.There is so much prejudice against the mentally ill. I once listened to someone making disparaging comments about a person because they'd admitted they went to therapy for help with everyday normal problems. I remember thinking wow, if they only knew I'd been locked up on a psych ward.
>My therapist insists that it is all to do with poor attachment and csa, but there is a part of this thing, and I don't know what to call it, this madness thing, that I have colluded with and that is part of me. To get better I will need to change a part of me.I think I understand what you mean by "this madness thing" but I'm not sure what you mean by "colluded" with it. Do you mean you think you welcomed or invited the madness into you or that you deliberately do things that perpetuate it?
(This thread has grown so long and we are talking about a different topic now. I don't know if this is kosher, but I hope it is okay with you if I start another thread and move this post there? I hope this isn't against board etiquette. I'll call it Hospitalization. Maybe you could answer this post there, if you still want to continue this conversation?)
poster:toojane
thread:728702
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/729311.html