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Re: happy -- sad.... why so fast? » sunnydays

Posted by Happyflower on December 10, 2006, at 6:32:02

In reply to happy -- sad.... why so fast?, posted by sunnydays on December 8, 2006, at 21:10:02

Hi Sunny,

Do you think the holidays have something to do with what you are feeling? It seems to be affecting me this year. It is like all of sudden I get into such a happy mood, and then It think about reality, and I come crashing back.

I am really needing my T right now, and he is allowing me to do that, and I don't feel bad about it anymore like I used to do, I am just allowing it to be okay to lean on him and to need him especially now.

I think it is okay to need your T sunny, but it is hard to want to count on that because someday it will go away. So for me it was and still is hard for me to invest so much of myself into the the T relationship, I am like isn't this such a waste of time? But now I see that I need this relationship to help heal myself and having this "good corrective" relationship is allowing me to see what a good relationship involves. It has given me courage to find that outside or therapy. Plus it has shown me that I NEED to have this closeness with others, and I WANT it now, and that it is IMPORTANT, just like I feel about my T .

I was at the gym the other day and counted the people I knew and have talked to and that day there were 10 people not including the insturctors. Well before therapy I didn't know anyone since I was so issolated. I still have to trust to take some of these relationship to another level, but I will eventually.

But what I am getting at (sorry I am on steroids and just so chatty lately) is that needed your T is a good sign. But it is bittersweet though in a way. But it is helpful. Can you call and listen to his voice or anything? I called my T once just to tell him I missed him on his voice machine, I didn't want him to call me back, but it felt good to get it off my mind a little. But one time when we were trying to space out my appointments to once a month, I called him after 2 weeks just to check in because I just missed him. He was so wonderful on the phone that day, and I will never forget it. I could hear his smile in his voice and I feel he knew what I was feeling because he was so gentle and caring.
So I say need your T all you need, it is okay. It is okay to reach out to them if you miss them, they might not always call back, but it will make you feel better just allowing yourself to feel okay to do this. Because in real life, realfriends like you to reach out and allow them to help you, and vice versa.
(((((((sunnydays)))))))) A hug for you because you reached out to us.


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Happyflower thread:711715
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/712086.html