Posted by RN320 on November 23, 2006, at 9:29:48
My therapist of 5+ years had emergency brain surgery for a brain abcess last week, and I don't know how to cope. He's currently in ICU. (I'm an ex-ICU nurse, so I know that there's a very high mortality rate for brain abcesses- I used to see such poor outcomes in clinical practice.) He's my 1st (and only, I'd hope) therapist, and he's helped me manage weekly with a severe drug resistant depression. It seems like he practices a form of CBT. He was sick for a week before the diagnosis, so it's been 3 weeks since I've talked to him. I started falling apart last week even before I knew any details of his illness or that his situation was so grave. I saw my pdoc Monday because I didn't know what to do, and he tried to be really positive about Dr. P- telling me that he's very hopeful that he'll make a full recovery. (They share office space, so I know that he's getting updates.) I feel like I'm being handed a line of happy chatter, and I know that he can't possibly be doing well since he's been in ICU for a week today- and these days you don't just spend a week in an ICU bed unless you're gravely ill.
I had sent Dr. P an email about 2 weeks ago when I found out he was ill. I told him that I didn't want to pry, but that I was worried about him and would like to hear from him that he was ok. As the days went on and there was no reply, I had this sense of impending doom. Then, this past monday I received an answer to my email but it wasn't from Dr. P- it was from his brother, who very kindly told me what had happened. At the end of the email he said that if I had any "questions or concerns" that I could call him, and then gave me a cell #. I haven't called his brother- yet, anyway, and don't know if I should. Am I stepping over a boundary if I do? I'm very attached to my therapist- I like him from what I know of him as a person. He's young, very vital, and about the nicest person that one could meet. I trust him alot, and he's really the only person that I have to talk to, as my best friend of almost 25 years died a couple of years ago and the friendship has not been "replaced".
My pdoc wants to see me weekly "until" (in my experience this is a big IF) Dr. P returns. Although I am very fond of my pdoc, he's no therapist and even though my pdoc says that in Dr. P's absence he will "mind the store" I know that I'm not going to really be able to talk to him.
So, what am I supposed to do to get through this? I am so upset and anxious about Dr. P's condition- as a human being I can't stand the idea of people suffering, and I'm just praying that he survives- even if he's never able to practice again. I also only want him to survive if he'll be "intact" since he is such an active and vital person. I'm finding myself calling every day to find out if he's been moved out of ICU. I'm finding that CBT, if interrupted before you're ready to fly on your own, can send you into a tailspin- and I don't know if this is normal or not, but like I said earlier- I had already started to fall apart before I knew details of his situation.
Any suggestions out there on how to cope with this mess?
Thanks.
poster:RN320
thread:706432
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/706432.html