Posted by TherapyGirl on November 6, 2006, at 17:24:46
In reply to T's Offices, posted by TherapyGirl on November 4, 2006, at 21:04:35
So here's the story:
A little over a year ago, my T suddenly announced that she was moving full-time to an office at a church that she had been using just 1.5 days/week. She also gave me just two weeks notice.
I honestly didn't think it would be a problem. I had seen her for over 20 years at that point and she has had five different offices during that time -- three of them in different locations (but the same practice). It honestly wasn't a big deal most of the time. And I had seen her several times at the office at the church when my schedule was weird. I didn't like it much, but it was okay.
But this move was different because it was part of her move towards semi-retirement. And the lack of notice, I think, did not give me enough time to make the mental adjustment.
So the first day at the new office, I showed up. First, it took me 10 minutes to find a parking space and the one I found was down the street in front of someone's house and I couldn't tell if I was going to get towed or not. So I was already agitated when I showed up a little late (I'm NEVER late). Then I walked in and NONE of her stuff was there -- not the books, not the art work, not any of the stuff that she has always taken with her. And the office had the look and feel of a storage closet for old, used-up furniture no one wanted. The couch was cantalope-colored, the carpet was emerald green, the office was located in a stairwell. It smelled like a church (this was a very bad thing because I grew up in a ministerial family and church has never, ever, felt all that safe to me). In addition, at least every 5 minutes during the entire session, people were clomping up and down the stairs talking in very loud voices that echoed through the office. It was just too much. I told her I hated that office and she said, "I know." THAT WAS IT. Then I blew off her hug on my way out (which I never do) and she said, "I'll see you next week." I looked at her like she was insane and said, "Yeah, right."
I called about 30 minutes later and left a voice mail canceling therapy. I told her it didn't feel safe to me, that it didn't feel private, that there was nowhere to park and that that couch was the ugliest thing I had ever seen. Then I reminded her that I had successfully changed offices with her 5 times previously, so she should know that this was ALL her fault. I explained that her offices ALWAYS, ALWAYS looked like her and that this office had no trace of her. I asked her where in the hell her stuff was. Then I yelled at her for not telling me until the last minute and for not even trying to do anything to make this move easier. And then I said, "And frankly, I'd be amazed if your other clients aren't just as upset as I am."
I followed that up with approximately 10 pages of journaling that started out with, "F*** you," and got progressively worse.
This has already gotten so long that I'll skip to the end. It took months, but we finally worked our way through this. I can write all the details if anyone is interested, but she basically put her stuff out, got a slipcover for the couch and bought some pretty pillows.
At any rate, I had really not been aware of how much her office affected me and helped me feel safe until this happened. I thought it was all her. So I was reminded of this during the thread above and wondering if any of you felt the same way about the physical space.
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:700438
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/700998.html