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Re: I have T in less than an hour » jammerlich

Posted by muffled on October 4, 2006, at 6:34:34

In reply to Re: I have T in less than an hour » pegasus, posted by jammerlich on October 3, 2006, at 23:14:13

> I did manage to get myself there and it was emotional....just what I didn't want it to be. That makes it feel like I'm getting closer to her and I DO NOT want to be close to her. I'm even starting to think I might want her to hug me. Wanting that makes me angry with myself (I need to suck it up and be strong)...and afraid. When I saw her before, she hugged and now I'm not sure if I'm afraid she'd still hug me or if I'm afraid that something's changed and now she wouldn't.

***this T stuff is crazymaking isn't it? its such a weird thing.Mebbe its best to get this whole hug business in the open so it doesn't haunt you. Right now I'm ok w/therapy. We doing ok right now. But I been where you are now. And who knows, I could fly back there at the slightest provocation. Or even the slightest perception that there was a provocation....sigh.
Glad you made it there.
This trust stuff seems to take time...
>
> Why can't they just tell you exactly what you need to do and send you on your way? I'm sick to death of this relationship BS.

***yeah, the R-word (relation^%$#)
Hate it.
But it has been the case w/me, that I had to be able to have some trust w/my T, b4 I could be more open w/her, and then be able to do good work.
It has paid off for me. I am undoubtedly doing better.
Hope it gets better for you soon.
Take care Jost,
Muffled

 

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