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Re: memories? » muffled

Posted by kerria on October 1, 2006, at 1:13:03

In reply to memories?, posted by muffled on September 21, 2006, at 1:10:18

Hi Muffled,

yes- it's like that with me- i don't remember much about my childhood unless something triggers it - there's something that happened today that's just like it was when i was little.

Reading your post about remembering your backyard made me think of my backyard that i remembered today because i looked at my neighbor's chain-link fence.

i never remembered my backyard before but then today i got a whole picture in my mind about it- the vines on the chain-link fence next to the backdoor and gate with the metal 'u'-shaped to put down to close it. i saw where the trash can was- in the opposite corner, the patchy weed-grass and the little strip of garden next to the brick building with orange flowered marigold plants on the left side of it- and i feel sadness in the pit of my stomach.

It's different than the kind of memory that i have if i think about what i had for breakfast. That memory comes a different way- we can just think of it- but our memory about childhood is locked and only can come if something reminds us of it.

MT


If it's a flashback it always has a sense with it that comes along with the triggered memory- like i taste something again and feel exactly the same way inside as i felt way before- the same fear the same anger is happening again. There's way too many details- a part is back/ we're brought back to that place in time. It's scary and so weird.

It's hard to have PTSD and DD and have our memory be a present enemy to have to deal with whenever.

i hope that you're managing ok.
Take care,
kerria


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