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Re: sorry for blank message above. I messed up :( » madeline

Posted by Lindenblüte on September 29, 2006, at 9:38:34

In reply to Re: I feel utterly hopeless. » Lindenblüte, posted by madeline on September 29, 2006, at 5:44:47

Maddie,
Do you have any friends IRL who you could share some of your story with? I have found that it helps a lot. I'm sorry you're feeling down. I think, given all of this turbulence, that it's really very human to just get overwhelmed. :(

You recognize that a lot of this stuff is not directly caused by you, but has more to do with OTHER people's problems. That's a really big accomplishment. Don't take that for granted. If you were really deeply depressed, you would not be able to wrap your mind around that "simple" idea.

Life is never ideal. Even the job you think is going to be perfect for you might be too much or too little on many days. Everything has good sides and bad sides. I used to want to be a professional musician, but I didn't really like practicing, which is lonely and tedious. I used to want to be a natural scientist, but I found that I didn't really enjoy working in the lab. Sometimes when our dreams come close to being true we realize that they weren't quite that ideal after all.

Your ex *lied* about loving you? Geez. That's absolutely rotten. I think that many women have been in similar places. When you're not feeling too fragile, try sharing- my best friend for life was a mere buddy until we had similar experiences with the same guy (6 months apart) and neither one of us realized how much we had in common until we started burning effigies of him. Literally and metaphorically. I hope that you can share with someone and make a new bond. Sometimes the strongest bonds between people come from being hurt and then healing together. I'm not sure how long you and your ex were together (too long, no doubt), but at least he didn't keep you around for years and years and marry you etc etc.

Now you're free. And you will find a guy that is good to you, and will care for you and who knows? He could fall in love with you. It takes time. You'll know when you're ready. 'Til then, practice the fine art of "window shopping". Feel free to look around- what kinds catch your fancy? what kinds are practical? what kinds are pure fantasy? what kinds are loveable? what kinds are loving?

(((((Maddie)))))

-Li

cymbalta commercials have very effective music. Gets me everytime. It's been a good AD for me, but I'm not 100% feeling normal either. I felt some response right away (a week or two), but I ended up increasing to 90mg. I'm still not quite sure what I need to feel normal? I may never know.


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