Posted by Daisym on July 26, 2006, at 15:12:09
In reply to Can you reinvent yourself?, posted by mswgradstudent on July 26, 2006, at 14:00:02
You have lots of company in your current place of despair. And you do have options.
You can stand very still for a few minutes (days, weeks) and not try to "move" under the weight of your pain. This might give you a chance to rest. But, often we have to move, whether we like it or not.
You can set it aside for awhile...really, you can. Today IS today and you can declare it a day of rest. No looking forward or backwards. Just existing, today.
You can ask for help. My very good friend once told me that the burdens I carry feel heavier because I've carried them so long alone. If I share these burdens, with friends, my therapist, my family, they won't feel so heavy. Yes, they are mine to sort out. And yes, it does feel like a huge thing to ask someone to do for you, or with you. But she looked at me and said, "wouldn't you help me carry a burden of mine, if I asked you to? And more importantly, didn't you just volunteer to do that because you see me struggling? Let me do the same for you."
It takes a different kind of courage to say, "I'm hurting THIS much." Our societal message is one that states, "grin and bear it." You don't always have to do that.
The other thing I've done a tremendous amount of thinking about this week is, "will it ever get better?" My therapist says it will. He maintains that I have to form a relationship with my past because it will never not be MY past. I can't magically assume someone else's life. But if I can find a way to accept what has happened, if I can find a way to lessen the hurt of it, things will get better. I will feel better. He is holding the hope right now. I just can't see it. But I trust him and want to believe him.
Find someone to help you hold some hope. We do a pretty good job of that here for each other, so I hope I've helped.
poster:Daisym
thread:670775
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/670792.html