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Re: He wore a bowtie Dinah

Posted by llrrrpp on July 21, 2006, at 16:32:43

In reply to Re: He wore a bowtie fallsfall, posted by Dinah on July 21, 2006, at 11:07:50

Aww Falls,
bowties are cute! my favorite high school teacher wore one occasionally. It was very nice :)

My T wears sporty clothes. He looks like a model for Patagonia. Last session he wore a pink t-shirt. Actually it was this color exactly inbetween lavender and pink. flattering. unexpected, but flattering. It made him seem more human somehow, since a pink t-shirt is a personal statement, and only persons (humans) can make choices like that. He's not gay, by the way, which reminds me of something my 7 year old nephew said once. "Secure men wear pink"

It's completely natural to feel sad when someone close to us goes away for a while. It could be our parent, our spouse, our child; the loss is a sign that you have bonded with your T. The sadness is natural; whether you become depressed or not is a different matter. I lately have been thinking about depression as a *choice* that I can make. So now you have a choice. Will Falls choose to turn sadness into depression? Or will Falls see sadness for what it is? A temporary parting between two people who are close.

What is it that you miss when your T is gone? Is it the chance to speak with someone who listens without judging you? Is it the advice that he gives you? Is it the insight that he has, helping you interpret your thoughts and emotions? Is it the routine? Is it the feeling that you are making progress in the struggle to live well? Is it something about his sense of humor, or his kindness?

Well, hang in there, and feel sad, by all means. It's only natural. Just don't allow it to "take over" and mutate into the ugly beast of depression. Think of all that money you're saving, and the extra hours that are now free in your schedule. Can you do something fun too? A day trip, or weekend somewhere nice? See a concert or a play? Or make some headway on a major project so that you will have good news to tell your T when you speak with him next?

Or perhaps the best thing is to keep to your usual schedule, and maybe call your friends & family when you start to feel that you may need a boost?

Sending you some coloring books, and a couple of pints of your favorite ice cream (((((Falls)))))





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