Posted by susan47 on May 29, 2006, at 13:38:03
In reply to I am so stressed, frusterated, vent warning, posted by happyflower on May 27, 2006, at 8:20:08
So, now it's two days later HF, have you run yet? Isn't today a holiday? Are you running? So go and memorize something for the test, just a couple of ideas. Repeat it in your head (at this point you're dressed to run, BTW) and GO. Run and think about the chapter you've just read. Order it in your head, make thought connections about the material and just go, running .. two down ...
Oh shoot, today is your son's birthday. How's it going? I'll bet you're going crazy or maybe you're at the stage where you just gave up and let it be, whatever it is .. you know you love him So Much and the love is the important-est thing ... he'll love you back, eventually, he's melting down because he wants to feel close to you ... I think .. take twenty or forty dollars or ten or whatever you can afford, and take him shopping .. kids love to have the power to choose, forget about how much or how little it is, but little is better than too much ... because it's the quality of your attention that matters, only that HF ....
It's so incredibly hard having a marriage breakdown plus two opposite-sex children .. but does it really matter .. they all fight, they never get along when you need them to the most. Sometimes I just honestly tell my children how bad I'm feeling, how much I truly love them but how incapable I am of even loving myself, right now .. they respond to the truth, they amaze me. They're loving, caring, albeit at times a bit too highly-strung for my palate .. you know .. but they feel SOOOO good in my arms. Their smell .. you know?
Here's a funny thought, I couldn't help thinking HF .. you know okay, how your DH's habits are startin' to drive you wild, baby, .. didn't he have an affair with another .. woman? Hey .. you know how you feel about your T sometimes, the romanticism? Guess what .. somebody felt like that about your DH, maybe still does right now .. perspective, baby, it's a wonderful thing. But you need to feel the way you do about your T you know, you need to feel like he's somebody you idolize, because you choose the things you really like about him and obviously they outweigh any that you don't, so of course you idolize him .. he has to fit that image you create so you want to live up to it, but then .. my god, I feel for you, if he's physically attractive and knows it, knows it knows it KNOWS it but can't not play into it, especially because he knows you really WANT him to, he's your Safe Guy, he's the one you can REALLY flirt with and nah-nah, he can't do anything about it .. so I don't know, maybe there's choices around that, maybe he could either get angry with you for being the flirt you've always needed to be, safely, but never could, never .. I mean, sometimes guys just have no idea how NOT to come on, how NOT to let their testosterone talk. But they need it, see, because that's the hormone that makes them feel Capable, and by God, they NEED to be capable in these situations.
It's this double-edged sword. Think how sexy your DH would be if you felt that way about him. Why isn't he living up to what you need him to be? Maybe he's the wrong guy for you, maybe he's not but you're needing to decide I think .. Hey HF, are you here? Reading still, or just really annoyed and gave up with me?
ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzOh, and by the way .. Happyflower maybe you ought to just let your attraction to the yoga guy show. How can that hurt you? See, it's a professional relationship, and you should be very safe to show your attraction. And if not, if he responds positively, you might actually have some great sex ... and more choices, you seem to be boxed in or something. I see this happyflower boxed in, trying to poke her way out.
poster:susan47
thread:649269
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060526/msgs/650128.html