Posted by happyflower on May 21, 2006, at 8:35:04
In reply to Re: Feeling better tonight » happyflower, posted by fairywings on May 20, 2006, at 21:02:36
I have an appointment scheduled for after Labor Day, but my last call to him I cancelled it and said that I have given up on myself.
I don't know if he will call back, he is probably getting tired of me quiting or firing him. He usually does call in these circumstances even if I tell him not to but this time I think he has given up me. It just seems like things are on a spiral downward lately in our relationship.
I don't know if I want to go back. I am kinda embarrest about the whole situation and I tend to avoid this stuff and disapear.
The thing I am really struggling with is that I don't think he cares about me anymore and it seems like he is tired of working with me. I am not an easy client, even though I have made a lot of improvements, but it seems like I have so much more to do and the longer he keeps working with me, the more he is seeing he has more to do with me. It must be frusterateing to him to work with me. I know normally he doesn't see clients as long as he has been with me, 1 1/2 years, and to see I still need work, must be a downer for him.Another thing that I am having trouble with is that I feel like I can't count on him. I NEEDED him, and he couldn't see me, and his phone call didn't even acknowledge the emotional call I made before. I feel like he is so disconnected from me, and he really doesn't care or what to help me feel better or comfort me at all.
So I don't know what I should do. I so much want to ignore him, I want his ego to hurt just a little that I won't call him back or answer the phone when he calls. But I don't like games, and I normally don't play games with people. I don't know why I want him to hurt some, maybe it is because I am completely hurt by him and he goes on like nothing happened. Wow, doesn't that seem like how I used to feel about my mother? Dang it all.
poster:happyflower
thread:646074
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/646505.html