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I'm in a really scary place right now

Posted by milly on May 17, 2006, at 17:39:12

Help, i couldn't convince my pdoc that i;m not a danger to sh*tface, because i'm not convinced myself. i don't know i really don't know these plans are so controlling i can't think of much else right now and haven't been able to for a while and it is all building towards Sat which is a huge trigger date for me and when i would have the perfect arena to act on these thoughts. i don't feel rational pdoc explained what would happen if i do this but maybe i am the price that has to be paid, then a glimmer of something pdoc said how hard T & i had worked and that i would ruin all that, maybe i can stop this if i think of it like that, i need T right now, it's not fair, could i email him even though i'm not his responsibility anymore. I'm bad & scared very scared, scared of me scared of them, pdoc is informing the authorities i don't know what happens next but the police will know then and pdoc says i am responsible for my actions but i don't know if thats true, i tried to see sh*tface on the computer and freaked out there was no way i could 'control' that.how am i going to control this thing face to face, yet i want to prove that i'm better than him but maybe i'm not, i want to be seen to have survived him but what if this 'thing' get the better of me maybe not go but then it will never be over. Sorry can't think staight, scared got to go
bad milly


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poster:milly thread:645248
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/645248.html