Posted by happyflower on April 21, 2006, at 20:39:20
In reply to Re: Okay, this is me being a smart butt, posted by joslynn on April 21, 2006, at 15:04:41
Thanks Joslynn for the great links, I plan on rereading them this weekend.
I do think my relationship with my T is getting to be more "friendlike" or even "datelike".
It is hard because we do have so much in common and we both really do enjoy each others company.
This has been going on for some time now and I have done very good work with him over the past year. I feel really good about the progress so I don't want to quit before I am ready.
It is sometimes confusing because we do connect in a way that is special in of itself. He hasn't tried to put any moves on me or anything that has crossed boundry lines. Maybe he has blurres some them, but he safe legal wise.
I care about him very much and would like to have a relationship with him after therapy. I really like him a lot. He has been married a long time and I haven't forgotten that nor would I try to jepordize that, because I do care about him and want him to be happy. I think it would be nice to meet up with him maybe in 3 -6 months after termination, just to reconnect. But I will probably see him at the gym sometimes, and maybe that will be good enough.
Even though he will always be special to me, I think as I am making new friendships, maybe I will miss him less. I don't know.
Maybe I am reading more into what he is saying because I want it to be true. I guess I have more thinking to do about this. I am thinking of cancelling my next appointment in 2 weeks, just to give me time to think about this. I am respectful of his boundries, but it is hard when he says stuff like he does, not to want a friendship with him.
He asked me last time if I felt disapointed that we can't be friends and I said yes. The first time I told him it really sucks, and he said it sucks for him too, because he in other circumstances would like to have a social relationship with me because he likes to talk to me. So it is confusing, maybe more than hurtful.
I am wondering if his many self disclosures are more about him than really helpful for me. I do love to hear his stories about him, but I am paying him to talk about himself when it probably should be more to do with me.He isn't a bad guy , I hope I don't mean to make him sound like an unethical jerk. I bet all T's at one time or another meet someone as their client who becomes more special to them even though they shouldn't let that happen, but I think sometimes you can't help how you feel.
I know another another one of his clients who goes to the gym and she knows nothing compaired to what I know about him and what he has shared with me. He has even told me there are some clients he would never want to be social with, he doesn't feel the same about all his clients. But another time he said he was going to treat all his clients the same. So who knows?
I will be careful not to get my hopes up too high.
poster:happyflower
thread:635228
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060406/msgs/635684.html