Posted by B2chica on April 20, 2006, at 11:20:13
In reply to Honey, I scared the shrink... (***trigger***), posted by Tamar on April 20, 2006, at 9:41:56
((((((((Tamar)))))))))))
unfortunately i too have run across a few T's that become 'intimidated' or feel threatened by me when i mean nothing by it. i think it's just a conflict of personalities cuz i'm finally learning to say what i think and i need to do that without worrying about the consequences (others' hurt feelings) that's what's always stopped me before and i need to get out of that cycle.
you need to be able to do that also.
sometime it helps to bring it up, sometimes as third person, tell him you talked with someone the other day and you felt that they became intimidated by what you said and became defensive -1)gets your feelings out, 2)puts them in 'helper' mode and 3)maybe alerts them to they were acting like a jack@$$ (IMHO).i know that's not much help. but i had to put in my 2cents there.
cutting once is like smoking one cigarette for me...can't do it, it just snowballs more severe cutting. i hope you can stop this before it becomes too much for you to handle. try to quickly go to your positive coping skills. please do what you need to do to not SI.
about your husband, i think you need to put yourself first. think about what YOU need, what is best for you. cuz if your needs are met then and ONLY then can you effectively meet the needs of your children. Trust me, they would rather have you healthy and safe then keeping in a marriage that pushes you to the edge. they wouldn't want that. kids will be upset, hurt but mostly they're confused so you need to weigh the needs for them. they don't have the whole picture and will only see mommy and daddy 'splitting up'. when they get older they would be able to understand but they can't now. so don't put your decision on temporary 'happiness'.
only you see the big picture.
i am worried about you. and heck nobody's easy to live with but what makes it work is one another respecting the other's needs. which apparently yours are being clearly ignored. it does not sound like a tolerable situation. it also sounds like beyond the verbal abuse from your husband it is very triggering for childhood memories...this only exasserbates your symptoms. this is NOt a healthy situation for you.please please please becareful. and remember we're just a few mouse clicks away.
always here.b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:635205
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060406/msgs/635248.html