Posted by happyflower on April 12, 2006, at 4:21:24
Okay, I am sick with a fever and I know you can have weird dreams when you are sick.
But I had a dream last night about my grandma (my mothers mom) which kinda has me freaked out.
All the sights and smells were present. It was in her house, which always freaked me out. I was always scared to go to her house as a kid. But anyways I used to spend the night with her. We slept in the same bed (full size probably). Well in this dream, she was rubbing her hands all up and down my legs. I remember the glow of the little TV set, the smells, it was so real.I never like my grandma as a child, she scared me. She wasn't like full of love and hugs. I guess no surprise to you all since I have told you about my mom. But I wonder if this happended and I am now just remembering it. OR is a crazy disturbing dream?
The other stuff in the dream I know did happen. Like my grandpa having a heartattack in the back yard. My grandma found him laying on the ground.
I used to have to go past the back door to get the the bathroom, and it scared me. I could of went through her bedroom, but that scared me too.Then many years later when my cousin was 18, he hung himself naked in an upstairs bedroom. He was living with her when his best friend started to date his mother. It was then discovered he wasn't trying to kill himself, but was materbating. I guess stranglation can cause intense sexual feelings, it was in a magazine they later found under his bed that showed how to do it. So I was scared to cross the bottom of the stairs.
Well I haven't thought about this stuff for years, maybe 10 or more. The other stuff was real, but I wonder if the part of my grandmother was real? It kinda has me freaked out.
I don't have any signs of being CSA, I don't remember anything, but yet I didn't remember being burned either until I had a burn accident. I have a heathly sex life with my DH , when we used to have sex. But I do remember being preoccupied with sex at an early age.I would like to see my T and talk about this, but I am sick and can't get in to his office. I know he doesn't like to do therapy on the phone especailly with our track record. So I guess I should wait until Tuesday to lay it all on him.
What do you all think about this. Am I making something out of nothing?
poster:happyflower
thread:632071
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060406/msgs/632071.html