Posted by orchid on March 24, 2006, at 18:24:57
In reply to What if I'm not sure what I want? » Racer, posted by Daisym on March 24, 2006, at 0:18:44
Hi Daisy,
What you have said is so powerful and deep. I know the feelings. I have been there myself. When I didn't want to get better, and just wanted to stay hurting. And simultenously wondering why I couldn't just push it aside and be normal.But I believe that the feeling change after a while. There comes a point, when (atleast in my case for the most part), you just feel ok with the abuse, and it feels something like, I neither feel like I am living with it, but I neither think of myself as having overcome it. I don't think of myself as an *abused* or as a *survivor* - for me, both negative and positve feelings seem too much, and just a neutral stance seems to be fine. It just was, in some distant past. It is almost as if I have become quite distant to the past, and every now and then it comes up and bothers me quite a bit, but then I find myself quickly dismissing it and moving on to other things without worrying too much about it or ruminating about it.
I just wanted to share.
poster:orchid
thread:623482
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/624258.html