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Re: T on vacation -- TRIGGER » wishingstar

Posted by TherapyGirl on March 24, 2006, at 8:52:22

In reply to Re: T on vacation » TherapyGirl, posted by wishingstar on March 23, 2006, at 21:27:16

It's kind of a long story about how "my" sentence came about, but you asked, so I'll tell.

I had been doing really, really well with all of my issues until 2-1/2 years ago. I had been out of therapy for about 7 years, just checking in occasionally (and having lunch with her very occasionally). About 6 months before the newest trauma, I had started seeing her more regularly, about twice/month around some weight issues and relationship issues.

Then in August of 2003, my former boss committed suicide. I was with his stepson when we found him. I'm not going to go into detail here, but it was a horrible day that lasted, for me, for about 6 months. Not much sleep, lots of headaches, many, many symptoms of PTSD. Unfortunately, in September, my therapist was gone for 2 weeks (which meant I didn't see her for 3 weeks). The timing was terrible -- she knew it and I knew it, but there was not much to be done about it. I think her daughter was getting married, but she never said.

Anyway, during that two weeks my relationship ended and I thought I was losing my mind. We also got the autopsy results on my former boss with horrifying information. It had been hard when she was gone before, but never, ever as hard as it was this time. I was a complete mess when she came back and we spent months processing how very abandoned I felt. She hasn't been gone for two weeks in a row since then, but the next time she was out, we talked about it a bunch. She asked me what I did to feel connected to her when she was out. I told her that I had saved messages on my machine from her and I would listen to them and call and listen to her voice mail message. She thought that was fabulous (and you can't believe how embarrassed I was to admit this stuff to her). She immediately told me to call in and listen for a special sentence she would put in just for me about when she would be back. She's done it every time since then, even when we haven't specifically discussed it.

Are you sorry you asked? :-)

 

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poster:TherapyGirl thread:623503
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