Posted by gardenergirl on March 16, 2006, at 13:01:57
In reply to Guilt, boundaries, and compassion... (longish), posted by Racer on March 16, 2006, at 12:17:56
It's so hard when you have empathy for someone's distress, and you feel a certain pull or sense of responsibility or wish to help and you get knocked down for it.
Can you try to keep in mind that modelling appropriate boundaries and good self-care IS helping her? She may not see it, but that doesn't mean it's not important to model the desired behavior. And you do need to ultimately care for yourself first, ya know? That old, "Put your own oxygen on before assisting others" airplane speech?
At the same time, you two share a common grief, I think. Maybe spending some time talking with her about that...about her feelings about that or memories of the lost person....that's another way of helping that doesn't involve demands, "saving", or intrusion. Just a thought.
And as far as spending precious therapy time on this...I so know that feeling. I get mad when stuff "interferes" with my therapy. But my T would say, "That's what's on your mind. It's important." And there are probably some parallel issues with this that might benefit from exploring?
And you know, you don't always have to answer the phone. I stink at that one sometimes. But it's true.
Take care,
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:620937
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/620957.html