Posted by Daisym on February 15, 2006, at 17:42:54
In reply to Question, does anybody else have something evil, posted by muffled on February 15, 2006, at 12:24:42
My first reaction was "yes. I can't make it go away but I hide it well."
My second reaction was, "how sad that we share this belief about ourselves."
I think when bad things happen and trust is broken we often wonder if there isn't something inherently evil about our core selves. I always point to the common denominator in the equation -- and that woud be me. So how can I not believe, at least a tiny bit, that I'm not bad or evil or attracting bad and evil things? Do your thoughts wonder down this path too?
I don't know how to get rid of it. I think we have to try to believe that everything doesn't boil down to being our fault and to forgive ourselves as much as we can about whatever we deem our part in hurtful situations.
What helps me most is to look at little girls who are 4 or 8 or 12 and ask myself if I think they are evil. Can I see evil working through them? Since the answer is no, I can then tell myself that I was little. Very little. So the evil that was put in must be little too. And I can control little.