Posted by pegasus on January 26, 2006, at 10:11:37
In reply to I have a question... I'm a little annoyed, posted by littlegirllost on January 25, 2006, at 12:27:27
I've had this experience, too. I think my ex-T also took the therapeutic approach of letting me always determine what we talked about. If something big came up the week before, I'd always expect him to mention it, but he rarely did, unless I had asked him the week before to make sure we talked about it in the next session. It worked ok, but at times it was problematic.
One of those times was when he'd give me suggestions about things I should do between therapy. I always interpreted it as "homework" and dutifully did whatever he suggested. I'd come in to the next session expecting to talk about it, but we never did. It always took the wind out of my sails. Made me think that he didn't remember what he'd suggested the week before, or that he didn't really care how it turned out. Like maybe his responsibility was just to throw things out there, and not to work through them with me. I think my reaction says a lot about my personal psychology, but also about how confusing the therapy process can be in general.
The other time it was a big issue was after he told me he was moving. We had maybe 8 sessions after that, and in between sessions I'd write him these long anguished emails. Then we'd never talk about them during my sessions. I felt so unheard, and helpless. I was trying *so hard* to communicate my experience and work on it all before he left. But I might as well not have bothered. When I'd refer to my emails, he'd say that my writing was "rich" or that we should talk about it, but we'd didn't work through any of it in sessions. It was so frustrating! I wasn't writing them to entertain him! I was trying to do some therapy. I think maybe he was sticking to his usual therapeutic stance even after the situation changed in a way (i.e., the new short time line) that made that stance an obstacle to therapy, and possibly he was also defending himself from understanding how deep my pain went.
Yikes, I guess I really wanted to write all that. It's been on my mind lately. Sorry if it's TMI about me me me.
peg
poster:pegasus
thread:602647
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/602980.html