Posted by B2chica on December 28, 2005, at 21:14:59
In reply to Re: definitions??? **Trigger**, posted by Tamar on December 22, 2005, at 18:47:06
this is quite graphic so please don't read if your not in any state to handle things of a grahpic nature.
if you're reading further, please don't think i'm sick or disgusting if you think or feel that please don't post...this is really hard for me.
i'm posting this cuz i'm too ashamed to ask my T. but...well when i was young, starting about 7 or so with my brother, i won't go into much but one thing my bother (and neighbor boy-but my brother started it)did to me, but i think by giving it a name i'm closer to being in control of it.
here goes...
well, to say it quickly, he used to put things in me vaginally and move it around in there but the part i hated most was when he'd put something in my well i'd like to say behind but i'll state the term anus here. ok, but from now on, i'll call it 'my planet'.
he put anything he could find mostly crayons (the fat ones), toy thermometers, his finger (doing 'doctor' exames, and mostly markers, most of this hurt i remember crying a couple times and ask i was bent over the bed i would try to get up and he would put his hand on my back and push me gently back down. of course he would manipulate me by saying that if i cry he'd tell mom that i was crying and she'd give me a whipping. you know the typical big brother stuff, the 'its your fault not mine routine. if mom found out she'd kick me out of the house...etc., etc.after all this unmentionable information. my question is what would this be called. i was trying to read about sodomy but (that i can remember never used his penis) and isn't that the rule? not objects but when a penis is used? it was always objects that he and the neighbor boy would find. that i can remember... hell for all i know he could have put a popbottle in me...oh god...oh god...popbottle, popbottle and pain. i remember he used a popbottle in front and in my 'planet'.
man thisjust really s@cks!!!!!!
it's like this stupid little memories keep jumpting up out of nowhere!point of the story...definitions anyone?
b2c.
i ALWAYS had to take off my close..sometimes just upper
i'm MAD.
you hear that PsyDoc! i'm ticked off that i always ended up without my close! i HATE THAT!
i was raised to never ever say "Hate" so when i feel that way i suck it in. years of this. so i'm trying very hard to do this my T's way.
poster:B2chica
thread:590359
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051216/msgs/592905.html