Posted by cricket on December 7, 2005, at 15:47:34
In reply to You are definitely not a dork!, posted by Dinah on December 7, 2005, at 15:04:33
Oh Tamar,
Not a dork at all.
I am terrifed of seeing my therapist in public. Terrified of it.
I can't even stand being anywhere close to his neighborhood.
Once we were driving and my husband stopped for a cup of coffee somewhere close to the university where my T teaches and I protested, "Why here I'm sure that there is better places further downtown." My husband looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Coffee is coffee."
Then sure enough I look across the sidewalk and into the coffee shop and I see what I am sure is my therapist's back. Same height, same build, same ever present hat.
I freak. My heart starts pounding. I turn my back to the car window, scrunch all the way down in my seat and hold a newspaper all the way up to my face.
Was it my T? I have no idea. Did he ever turn to face the window? I have no idea.
What a strange reaction, huh?
The funny thing is that I wouldn't mind seeing him but I never ever want him to see me.
Maybe because I have absolutely no desire to have any type of relationship other than a therapy one with him. So this violates my boundaries in a way I can't tolerate. Maybe I just comparmentalize parts of myself too much. He got one hour a week of my tears and pain and very inner self that no one else got. So therefore even a mere glimpse of me at any other time would be too much.
poster:cricket
thread:586537
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051206/msgs/586563.html