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Re: A strange T dream » Tamar

Posted by orchid on December 4, 2005, at 23:21:36

In reply to Re: A strange T dream » orchid, posted by Tamar on December 4, 2005, at 17:25:30

Your explanation is very interesting Tamar. And it is something I didn't think of myself.

I didn't know that when people appear in our dreams it could be aspects of ourselves.

I do have perhaps plenty of bad sides. And yes, sometimes I feel why do I have this bad side and feel uncomfortable, especially if the badness is too much :). Maybe it is right that the person who looked very ugly is a representation of a ugly part of myself. But I don't know.

I don't know if it has to do anything with my dad. I am inclined to think no.

Another reason I thought of was, maybe the therapist seemed particularly ugly and tried to run away perhaps had to do with how I felt about my issues with my first T. Maybe I felt the whole issue ended up being very ugly, and maybe the part about the therapist running away could mean the exhaustion I felt at not being able to get better. Maybe I was thinking I am too much for a therapist and they would run away from me.

I just thought so, because then I called up my T in the dream and told him it was all his fault. I feel strongly now that he didn't do full justice to the trust I placed in him. And he used to complain about his other patients not putting efforts to get better, and how they are just always complaining. Well, I put my best effort, really tried to work it out with him, and he didn't do that much justice in return. He could have definitely tried to guide me more. I kept thinking he didn't know too much about transference and he was inexperienced and that excused his behavior. But now, I think if he didn't know about transference, then how am I supposed to know about it and deal with it? I am even more inexperienced and hadn't even thought of the possibility or heard about transference before I entered therapy. If I can put in so much efforts to learn and change, maybe he could have done his part better also - especially when it was about him and knowing it comes with the territory he could have perhaps put a more sincere effort in helping me work out of it.

> Interesting dream!
>
> > So the dream goes like this. I ask a father's friend for a referral for a new T. This happens to be the same friend who referred my first T.
> > But this time I ask for a US returned T so she would understand my issues. And he gives me a referrral and says she is great etc.
> >
> > And I meet her. And she looks like a cartoon character. And isn't able to understand anything I say. And then in the middle of the session she started running away. I run behind her and get hold of her, and bring her back to my house and keep talking to her. And then my mom comes bringing tea for boht of us, and when the door is open, she runs away again and this time I am not able to catch hold of her.
>
> One theory is that when other people appear in our dreams they are aspects of ourselves. Could there be an aspect of yourself that wants to run away? Do you want to run away from aspects of yourself? It might be about a strong internal conflict.
>
> > And then I happen to call my first T, and say it is all his fault. I tell him I am exasperated and can't seem to find help. And he says he is not working anymore. And then I tell him something like "You are talking about helping other people and doing social work etc etc. What good is to talk about all that if you can't help your own patient and you let her hurt". And I don't remember what happened after that, and I awoke.
>
> It sounds as if you were saying things to him that you want to say to him in real life. I guess the question is whether you felt satisfied with his response. If he’s an aspect of yourself, then perhaps he’s also the part of you that wants to run away (if there is a part of you that wants to run away). Like the cartoon therapist, he’s trying to avoid his responsibilities to you.
>
> There’s also the possibility that your T in this dream represents your father instead of (or as well as) representing a part of you. If that’s the case, perhaps you’re still working through your recent assertion of your personal space. You might have conflicting feelings about that (most people would, I think).
>
> > I think the second part of the dream is pretty obvious. But I was amused at the first part about her running away and she looking like a cartoon. Also she was the ugliest person I have ever seen.
>
> It’s interesting that you mention she was ugly. She might represent parts of yourself you don’t want to acknowledge. The ugliness combined with the cartoon quality might suggest that there are things you really dislike about yourself, and so you don’t really want to believe them. But sometimes facing our dark side can be very liberating. I think it can be helpful to understand that we can have a few negative traits but that they don’t negate or outweigh the good things about us. In a way, acknowledging character flaws can relieve the pressure of thinking we have to be good all the time.
>
> I’m not saying you have a bad side, by the way! I think you’re lovely. But I know that most people have aspects of their personalities they don’t really like much. I know I do.
>
> Tamar
>
>


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