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Worrying out loud....

Posted by LittleGirlLost on December 4, 2005, at 20:37:58

Bear with me while I worry out loud a bit. We are moving Tuesday morning.

How am I going to do/get through anything If I'm not going to be able to go to the bathroom?!!

It keeps going over and over in my mind... non stop! I can't think about anything else. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I'm nauseous; I'm a nervous wreck.

I'm worried about going to <new location>... period!
I'm worried about getting there on time (it's further away... and I am always running late.)
I'm worried about having to get up earlier
I'm worried about the people
I'm worried about what's going to happen
I'm worried about not being able to come home for lunch if need be
I'm worried that I'm not going to fit in
I'm worried that noone is going to like me
I'm worried about missing everyone left behind
But....
How will any of this matter if I'm unable to use the bathroom; which I am worried sick about.

Everything else will just be an adjustment that (hopefully) gets better over time, but I'm going to have to go to the bathroom on the first day. How?

I'm trying to tell myself, you just do it. There is no explanation; you just have to.

I just can't get that first thought out of my head. THAT is my biggest worry... and it won't stop in my head.

Besides all of this (and schoolwork that I am neglecting), the weekly feelings after seeing my therapist are extremely, extremely, intense this week. I don't know how to help myself; nothing I try is helping. I just want to go back by her, now. If I can hide there, then I won't have to move; but aside from that, if I were there, it would be one less painful thing to deal with now. I just want to go back!

Don't mind me... I just had to get some of this out. I do plan on trying some of the suggestions that you gave me in my previous thread... I'm just so nervous.

I don't see my T till Thursday and I am just trying to get this ruminating thought out of my head... plus I will have to go potty before thursday. :(

lgl

 

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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:LittleGirlLost thread:585550
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/585550.html