Posted by JLynn on November 15, 2005, at 12:25:20
I just finished my T appointment this morning and I am so kicking myself. I have been reading all these posts about feelings about your T and needing to know how the feel about you and I just keep thinking about it. This is something I struggle with and have never been able to discuss. I hate all the feelings I have for my T I guess because I don't understand them and it's so weird because I don't have those types of feelings for anyone else. I just don't understand my feelings for her. And I know it would help if I could share them with her, but how can I do that??? I worry that it would make her so uncomfortable and that she will have her guard up even more. And maybe she will terminate me or think I am some kind of freak. It's so unfair because I DON'T want to have these feelings. I don't want to care about her at all. I don't want to miss her or need her or let anything she says have any affect on how I feel. I want her to mean as little to me as I mean to her. I want her to be just another appointment that I have to go to each week. It makes me wish I had never started T in the first place. This just eats away at me. She tried to get me to talk about what was bothering me today, but I just couldn't do it. She asked me what I was so afraid of and I said "everything". So I wasted another day and I'm so mad at ME!!!
poster:JLynn
thread:578959
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/578959.html