Posted by All Done on October 6, 2005, at 16:54:15
In reply to Very down--sorry not around so much, posted by gardenergirl on October 5, 2005, at 15:52:05
> I've been busier at times than I thought I would be, considering I'm only at the clinic one day a week now. I thought I'd be all over that "d-word" thing, but I've found other pressing stuff to fill the time. So of course I'm beating myself up for not doing what I had planned and spending several hours per day on my "d".
You have so much else going on right now. Can you change your plan to something more manageable, like maybe 1/2 hour per day or 1 hour every other day?
> Plus, I haven't been feeling well, which likely is due to the dose (still low) of Lamictal I've been taking. So I dropped it back, the side effects went away, and now I'm depressed. Very blue. Doing nothing but wanting to sleep or stare into space. No appetite (now that's not like me AT ALL!) etc. I'm going back up on Nardil, which is depressing in and of itself. I should check to see when I have a pdoc appt. And T cancelled today, although we rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Sigh
How did your session today go? I hope you were able to talk to your T about everything that's going on. Last week, I went to my session feeling so down. I apologized to my T because I felt like I was too focused on little details (stressors) and not the "big picture" or whatever it is I feel like I "should" be working on. He just said, "well, maybe this is how you want to spend your time this week and that's okay". Somehow, it helped just to talk.
> And we recently found out bad news about my father-in-law's health--just before we went to visit them for the weekend. My hubby is devastated, and it's very very sad. Not going away any time soon, either--long haul kind of stuff. His mother is extremely stressed out, and it's just awful to see the two of them interact/ bicker right now.
>
> And to see my hubby cry. He just doesn't do that. It's heartbreaking. What was that symbol for tears again?
>
> This has opened up a whole lot of stuff beyond the immediate grief over the diagnosis. Stuff about trying to educate ourselves about the latest research on treatment and the expected course. Stuff about heritability and how to protect my hubby from getting it if possible. Whether we should look into genetic pre-natal counseling to test for this gene, among other health stuff that runs in his family before deciding whether to have children. Whether we should "hurry up' and have a child while his father could still enjoy being a grandfather.
>
> And of course that issue opens up a whole 'nother can of worms.
>
> Not to mention the primitive fears related to loss that are being triggererd.
>
> Sigh, even 10 mg of ambien didn't help me sleep last night.I'm so sorry about your father-in-law. I don't know what to say because it's such a hard thing. Spend as much time with him as you can.
I'd be very careful about "hurrying up" to have a grandchild. There are so many what ifs involved. And I wouldn't want to see you feeling guilty for something you can't control. On the other hand...well, I understand why you would want to. Maybe email me if you want to talk about it some more.
> Okay gg, what would you tell yourself? Stay busy and distracted by doing mundane things. Pay attention to self-care. Talk to your hubby and to others. Honor your grief. Call your pdoc. DO your D, even if it's just a paragraph. Go work in your garden.
>
> Anybody want to repeat that to me?You are a very smart woman, gg. You know just what to tell yourself, but I know it's hard to put these things into practice.
> Damn it. It's hard to be the supportive wife when you feel like sh*t yourself.
I know. :-(
> Thanks for listening.
>
> ggI'm sorry so much has hit at once. Try to take one thing at a time and put your focus where it needs to be at that particular moment. Even if it's in bits and pieces at least maybe, just maybe, it won't feel so overwhelming.
I'll be thinking about and praying for you and your family.
Gentle hugs,
Laurie
poster:All Done
thread:563288
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051001/msgs/563738.html