Posted by Dinah on September 19, 2005, at 20:42:53
In reply to Re: At the end of my rope (poss. trigger0, posted by rubenstein on September 19, 2005, at 19:29:02
Maybe that's just the best course of action when things get to be too much. Do whatever I need to do to sleep for a long long time. It's cheaper than a hospital.
I ended up starting the trip to Wal Mart, but getting so sleepy on an earlier stop that I couldn't keep up the energy to go look at the guns.
My therapist called me today. I thought it was in response to my message, but he didn't get that until later, and called me later thinking I had made it after I spoke to him. So he did remember and called on his own to check on me. He also asked if I was going to quit with him, and I have no idea why he asked that, since I've been adamant that I won't. I guess it was because I broke into strong hysterics after he told me about the four week assignment yesterday.
Maybe I'll try to reach my pdoc tomorrow. I'm driving the four plus hours to see my therapist tomorrow before he goes off for the rest of the week on yet another out of town assignment. I was able to make the appt because it would appear from what my husband told me he heard on the news that the return to N.O. has been halted. I'm not sure if it's for safety issues, or because of the tropical storm. I slept through all the news today. So I'll be having a bit of internet access for a few days. I keep calling home hoping the phone service has been restored but no luck. Serves me right for leaving the Bell companies.
I'm feeling more numb tonight than desparate. It's just that I got such a stream of bad news at once.
My therapist keeps saying I am strong enough to do all this, and it just makes me more desparate to do something drastic. Because I'm not strong enough and as long as it's assumed that I am, I will be expected to do more than I can do. And that makes me desparate. I wish my problems were more visible.