Posted by muffled on September 8, 2005, at 18:27:09
In reply to I'm really embarrassed by myself, posted by sleepygirl on September 7, 2005, at 20:21:09
> I went to therapy today and then was struck by how difficult it is to accept that my T cares about me. that should be a good thing, no? But for some reason all I can get to is, he doesn't hate me, and that's it. Then in true sleepygirl fashion I started to feel really badly for this T who has spent all this time with my sorry *ss, and then realized what a jerk I am for not being able to truly appreciate that.
> Then I decided to call him and let him know I appreciate him, but I ended up starting to cry and now I'm on his answering machine like that. I don't know what to do with myself. I can't win. Sometimes I think I should just give up on therapy-sometimes it's too hard. Sometimes being aloof and alone looks pretty good. :-(
> I can't stand myself right now.
I keep expecting my T. to dump me cuz I'm such an idiot. That was sure nice of you to leave a nice (or TRY to) message for your T. Brave. I couldn't do that. Being aloof and alone doesn't work. You just die inside. Keep at it. I will too.