Posted by rabidreader on August 12, 2005, at 15:24:31
My last session with my therapist, who I admitted having feelings for, went terrible. I planned everything down to the last detail to make sure we'd have a great ending, too. I bought a new shirt and earrings, so he'd remember me as attractive. I bought him a thoughtful gift and wrote out a heartfelt card. I cried a lot beforehand, so we could talk and not have me bawling the entire session.
The first bli[ on the radar occured when he said he could not accept my gift due to a policy they have at the agency. I took it in stride, although I was sad about it, as I'd taken a lot of care in choosing it. But the worst part came at the end.
Last week, our second-to-last session, he said he'd let me write letters to him where he's going (out-of-state, to work on his doctorate). So fo course, at our last session, I asked for his address. Then the blow came: he said he'd CHANGED HIS MIND and would not let me write to him!
He said he'd thought about it and talked to some other people about it and that it would be better to make a "clean break." He said he'd be really busy...that he wouldn't have the opportunity to write back...and that he thought I wanted to use endings to not think of people in black and white terms (that is, throw out everything they say or obsess about them).
Well, I lost it. I told him that it was a sh*tty thing he was doing; that he was unprofessional to say one thing and then go back on it; that he should have prepared me better for it than to just spring it on me like that; and that wherever he was going to school, I hoped they would teach him not to do this to someone ever again.
The next day I did apologize but I am still seething with anger and if he hadn't been going away forever, I would never have apologized. I think he did a terrible thing and betrayed me.
Does anyone have any comments that could help? I am really sad, troubled, confused, and angry.
poster:rabidreader
thread:540775
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050801/msgs/540775.html