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Re: Someone called my cell and asked for my alter

Posted by kerria on July 21, 2005, at 17:10:02

In reply to Re: Someone called my cell and asked for my alter, posted by cricket on July 20, 2005, at 10:43:03

Thanks Alexandra and Cricket.

Journaling is so hard - asking inside is the last thing i want to do. i don't know why it's so hard.
On the appt with T on Tuesday there was a final agreement- realization really- that it's a life and death struggle about it and i'm doing so badly. My life is falling apart literally because of not communicating inside. It's ruining my life and hurting my family.
i can't be stubborn and selfish any more.
T said he would get a workbook on communication and we agreed to work on it. It's been a five year battle up until now with T about it.

The only thing now is that i've had a terrible terrible migraine since the appt on Tuesday. i couldn't lift my head even all day yesterday- i lost the day at work and busy - poinsettia delivery time. Today i made it in for two hours but am so sick i had to leave. The nausea is so bad. i hope and pray that it's over soon. Nothing helps. Last month i almost died after one of the medicines(Reglan) given at the hospital ER made my heart irregular and race so badly.

So i missed appt with T today:(
It feels so helpless- i feel so helpless to get better sometimes- like it's not in my hands. That's why i need to give power of it over and let T help me communicate. It's so hard though- i'm afraid what will happen but i'm suffering too much not to.

communicating has been impossible for so long- we live one part at a time and many of my parts take over everyday to work, communicate with all my family, other interests.
It makes so much trouble not to communicate just practical information. It's so limiting.
thanks so much for writing,
kerria


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poster:kerria thread:529253
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