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Re: Thinking of doing something stupid **trigger* » Dinah

Posted by pinkeye on July 20, 2005, at 18:44:36

In reply to Re: Thinking of doing something stupid **trigger* » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2005, at 18:25:08

hmm.. that rage is past now.. it was almost a 15 minute thing..now I don't feel like hurting him or hurting anyone.. wonder if it will return..

Boy, I really do understand what motivates people to commit suicide.. it is almost like, "I can't escape this pain - and I can't get to the person who caused me this.. so atleast this way, let me get back my revenge".. It is awful..

I don't know why I ended up giving this much power to my ex T over me.. It is not love, it is not a fatherly thing either. It is almost like I trusted him like God. And he let me down. It is incredibly powerful and pathetically sad.. I have never given anyone this much power over me. I wonder if he ever realized what it did to me.. Now I understand why toomuchpain tried to commit suicide when terminated by her T.. Something about being a T is so incredibly powerful and not everyone is suited to handle that power.


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