Posted by pinkeye on July 20, 2005, at 14:30:54
In reply to I'm with you Pinkeye and Dinah, posted by Susan47 on July 19, 2005, at 21:20:35
I understand what you are saying Susan.. I feel the same many times too.. Maybe it is something common to some of us who lack self acceptance and good feelings about ourselves a lot. I think that is when it hits the hardest.. Or maybe abrupt termination combined with these issues.
The relationship that we have with our ex Ts are in our heads. and that matters more than the actual relationships.. That is why we find it difficult to adjust to terminations..
But you are also right.. I always seem to be able to get better.. But maybe that is the curse.. that I get better and get worse. If I can get completely worse and not get better, maybe sometime later, I will get completely better and not get worse. Maybe I pick myself up too soon without giving a chance for full healing..
> Pretty much that's how I feel. I don't understand how on the surface things can be "good" in a person's life yet underneath there can be so much depressed feeling. There's so much inconsistency in life. It feels very lonely, sometimes, and overwhelming and sad and being rejected is just mind-boggling, it's too much to take. Sometimes I feel a bit better, Pinkeye, when I think about what this ex-T of mine is doing... not thinking about me one bit, of course not. And just carrying on with his life as usual. So if he's not thinking about me, why would I think about him? And that kind of rationale works sometimes, and makes me feel better for a while. Then I end up thinking, too, about how I really feel about him, about the wonderful emotions he unwittingly introduced me to, and I just want to scream. How can there be so much emotion with NO RELATIONSHIP? It's absolutely c*ck-eyed, stupid, even insane. It's no wonder it feels sometimes like I'm living a nightmare.
> D'you feel any better, yet, Pinkeye? You have company, maybe not exactly the same, but I also feel overwhelmingly sad and angry at times, then I get so depressed it's unbelievable. But you'll come out of it again, Pinkeye, you will.. you always do, have you noticed?
poster:pinkeye
thread:530184
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050716/msgs/530623.html