Posted by Jazzed on June 28, 2005, at 9:16:01
In reply to ***trigger*** disclosing big stuff and crying » Jazzed, posted by gardenergirl on June 27, 2005, at 23:11:22
> Well, I didn't tell everything big. But I did say towards the end of the interview in the first session, "Oh by the way, I should probably tell you that I was raped at age XX, but I'm pretty over it. I don't think about it much." I kind of laugh when I think of that now, because I'm sure he was saying to himself, "Sure she's over it." And it has become an important thing to talk about. But I just casually threw it in there like I was talking about where I was born or something.
LOL, that is funny! Just off the cuff, huh? I bet that was fodder for therapy at the next session.
> I cry a lot. I'm a crier. I cry a lot a lot a lot. I used to get really embarrassed about it. Now not so much except when I start to get too snotty. I hate that part, and I hate blowing my nose in front of him for some reason. Silly I know.
OMGosh! Who doesn't hate to get all snotty?! And to get that way there, I'd die! I hate to blow my nose in front of anyone! Anyone! Not silly at all, I bet most women are that way. Men don't seem to care much what they do, well, I know I'm generalizing, but....you know what I mean.
>It's not too hard to walk out of there when I've been crying because you don't have to go back thru the waiting area...just out the door.
Now, that would be nice. Not so for me, and the waiting room usually has pretty many ppl in there. Too embarrassing for me. I guess if I continue, I'll just have to get over it! What's the worst thing that could happen?
>I get a bit embarrassed when I go to Starbuck's though, and I have red eyes and stuff.
Allergies, those damned allergies! LOL
> I did have one big shameful thing to tell him that I took several sessions to tell. I started by just telling him I had something I wanted to say but I feared his reaction. I finally got it out, and it was mostly okay. We don't go back to it much, though.
Hmmmmm.....I hope you got it all worked out. Sounds serious, esp. if you can tell about rape, and then be so anxious about this. But, I know you know best.
> It's important to realize where you are at with trust and feeling okay being vulnerable. Regarding crying, though...my T said to me when I was embarrassed, "Anytime you walk into a room and see this many boxes of kleenex around, you have to know that crying is okay here." :)
I don't think I've seen a box of tissues in his office! Must mean I can't cry! ; ) I'll have to look next time.
> And from my perspective with crying clients...it doesn't bother me, and I don't think they are idiots or weak or anything.
That's because you're so sweet and kind. Maybe I should see a woman. I generally choose women physicians, but in therapy, because all of my relational issues are with the men in my life, I have chosen a male T. I figure I need to work it out with a man. Does that make sense?
> I can't. That's the hard part. He only sees students. So it's sometimes hard to get the motivation to graduate, although therapy isn't the only reason. Neurosis is a much bigger reason, sigh. But the silver lining is I get to keep seeing him. Otherwise, we'd be looking at termination rigth about now if I were on track.
That would keep ME from graduating! LOL. How much longer do you have?
Thanks for all of your support GG, I REALLY appreciate it. I have a lot to think about.