Posted by Tamar on June 23, 2005, at 13:01:04
In reply to therapy/therapist--midlife crisis or depression?, posted by B2chica on June 23, 2005, at 11:41:26
> ok, had a tough month and 1/2 in therapy. thought i was getting better. last week my boss wrote me up for unfounded issues and yelled at me three times last week and twice this week. so i sacrificed my work for trying to focus on myself and get through my tough issues.
In my opinion there is no excuse for a boss yelling at his/her staff. It is pure rudeness and it can be very intimidating. And furthermore, it's unnecessary. Nothing at work is that important (unless you work in air traffic control).
> have setback now. i don't enjoy work anymore. if it were just my boss i could deal with that but what i'm doing feels pointless. meaningless. is it depression, is it the repremand?
I can imagine that after a reprimand and repeated verbal abuse from your boss you might feel completely demotivated. We spend most of our waking hours at work, so anything stressful at work is truly awful. If your boss is forming a habit of yelling at you, I can imagine you feel there's a constant threat. Maybe you're a bit depressed as well, but I think the work situation you describe would account for your feelings.
> i feel utterly useless like i have absolutely no purpose whatsoever to even be alive.
> i dont think i'm emotionally suicidal but just numb emotionally.
>
> maybe i'm going through a midlife crisis. but i don't know what to do about this. i guess just take it one day at a time but.One day at a time is the only way to do it when it gets that bad.
> i've had thoughts of career change, even considered becoming a therapist (there an unusual concept-haha). but i feel that because my undergrad wasn't in psychology that even if i became a therapist i wouldn't be very good. i feel like i'd have to start from scratch and that would take YEARS!
It's true; retraining as a therapist could take years. But maybe a career change would help. What about other professions for which the training might be shorter - teacher? Nurse? Police officer?
> maybe extreme apathy is the word to use. i JUST DON"T CARE!!!!
> i feel sad when i think of my husband. what my dying would do to him. ruin a perfectly good life (his cuz i don't care about mine). i feel that all i was meant to do is done.
> it's time for me to move on. fortunately i don't have the energy to do anything about it.
>
> i feel whiny.Nothing wrong with that. I like a good whine myself from time to time.
> so....what do i do now.
I think perhaps it would be useful to make a plan of what to do if your boss yells at you again. Maybe (if you can keep it together) say very quietly, "I understand that you're angry but I expect you to speak to me with respect." The key is not to lose your temper (difficult, I know). But a quiet voice and calm words usually do the trick.
And start thinking about what kind of job you really want to do, if it's not what you're doing at the moment.
Hope that's of some help.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:517508
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/517529.html