Posted by Tamar on June 16, 2005, at 3:40:58
In reply to weird T behavior, gardengirl are you there?, posted by happyflower on June 15, 2005, at 23:10:10
I’m pretty sure you’re not being too bold for him. He seems to be reasonably comfortable talking about sex, from what you’ve said.
Sometimes, things we say might make a therapist remember something or think of something that is only tangentially connected, or personal to them. So when you said something about 18 year old boys it might have sparked a memory of his own experience as a teenager, or of something someone else said about sexual experience. Looking away can be a means of noting the thought, putting it aside, and coming back to re-engage with what you’re saying.
I mention this because I notice I do it. If I have some kind of random thought I usually blink to file it away, but if it’s a memory I break eye contact and look down to the right.
I have to admit, I always used to notice my therapist’s body language and use of eye contact. And I was always trying to guess what he was thinking or how he was feeling. I often felt very visible sitting in front of him with nowhere to hide, but then I realised he was just as visible as I was! There was one quite extraordinary moment where his body language seemed extremely defensive and vulnerable and I noticed it immediately but couldn’t think how it connected to what we were talking about. I still sometimes wonder what was going on for him at that moment!
poster:Tamar
thread:513486
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/513563.html