Posted by pinkeye on June 7, 2005, at 17:23:13
In reply to Re: What is happening??, posted by happyflower on June 7, 2005, at 17:06:50
Do I have to tell you that it is very very normal to feel what you are feeling? I have been through the same roller coaster ride you are going through right now. For me it was worse - I had to rely on emails and he would write so randomly that I would get confused as to what he was feeling - if I am being needy too much etc.
I wish I know how to help you more. But I don't know.
But you might want to atleast acknowledge that what is happening to you is entirely normal and that everyone (including me) go through it and have gone through it time and again.
Needing therapy, depending on the therapist extremely, constantly thinking about him, wishing he would miss you, wishing he would think of you as special, wishing that you would have made a perfect pair if you had met in any other circumstance, wishing that he would make a special exception just for you and allow you to form a friendship with him, wishing he would like you as much as you do, wishing he would see you and understand you for what you are and will fall in love with you, afraid you are being too needy, afraid of your desires for him, afraid that you are the worst client, afraid that you will never get enough of him, afraid that he somehow wants to get rid of you, wishing that you secretly need to take care of him and teach him to love people or somehow rescue him, that he doesn't know things well enough - all these feelings - everything is normal and every single client goes through it. And therapists know it.
Think of it this way - a therapist would have seen 20 Dinahs, 20 Pinkeyes, 20 Daisys, 20 Shrinking Violets, 20 Susans, 20 HappyFlowers, 20 B2Chicas, 20 Tamars, 20 JenStars, 20 10derHearts, 20 Jazzed, 20 Alexandra, 20 XXXX (all those other people in this board) in his career. So he knows every damn little thing that the client goes through, and every neediness, every nuances in and out of every personality he meets. So it is very hard for him to think of you and miss you and develop friendship with you. Imagine you seeing 100 therapists - would you fall in love with one if you see the 101 st therapist? That is the same state of mind he would be in.
So don't feel bad or don't feel good - just get your stuff worked out. Also attachment is part of the trasnference. How much ever you believe you and him would have been the ones for each other outside, it is not so - the proof - every single client thinks the same thing. So don't fall into the same trap.
poster:pinkeye
thread:509100
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050606/msgs/509251.html