Posted by fallsfall on June 6, 2005, at 15:08:22
In reply to Re: Just curious about therapy, posted by rainbowbrite on June 6, 2005, at 13:52:54
When I think of your name I see the "rainbow" part of it, so it surprised me that you shortened "rainbowbrite" to "rain", not "rainbow"...
I think many people have trouble being honest and open in therapy. None of us want someone else to know about all our shortcomings and failures! I was convinced for a very long time that if anyone really knew me that they would hate me - that it was critical for me to keep people from seeing the real me. Only by being honest with my therapist (and now Babblers, and a few IRL friends) am I starting to believe that people might know the real me and still like me.
I am pathologically honest. I'm honest when I should be quiet. I'm honest when it feels dangerous (because it is worse, for me, to be dishonest). But, at the same time, it takes force each time to admit things. I "do" the forcing because I know that in the long run it will be better if I do.
This is a place where babysteps works well. You need to tell a small secret and find out how it goes over. Then you can tell a slightly bigger secret. Eventually, hopefully, you can tell the big secrets. Keeping secrets is very dangerous.
Since you "know" that you need therapy, can you find a therapist who you are comfortable with and then push yourself to take those baby steps? It really is better to start when you are younger (then you don't have to spend so many years being unhappy) if you can.
What kind of therapy were you doing? How long? Sometimes building this trust takes a long time.
If you KNOW you have issues to work on, then perhaps you can decide to "just do it". You deserve to be happy.
poster:fallsfall
thread:507991
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050606/msgs/508610.html