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Re: The Introduction (In Session) » daisym

Posted by littleone on May 30, 2005, at 22:04:48

In reply to Re: The Introduction (In Session) » gardenergirl, posted by daisym on May 17, 2005, at 22:52:54

> I think we should debate what she wrote about therapists' authenticity. She offers that much of her group worried that their therapist was different outside the consulting room. And later, she goes on to say that "good therapists are able to bring the essence of their real selves into the therapy room without having their needs compete with the client's. They are able to be authentic while maintaining clear boundaries." I agree that they should keep their needs out of the room. But, does it matter if they act differently outside of the consulting room if they are consistent with us? If so, why? Aren't we different outside the therapy room than we are in it? Don't we put on our "therapy patient" hat, just like they put on their "therapist" hat? Don't you think we all, to some degree, play roles in certain settings? And, do you think men are better at this than women?

This is a big one for me and I get so confused over it and over what I think I actually want.

I had been seeing my previous T for a while and he was very consistent with me. Then he asked me to bring my husband along to a session. My husband and I are very different people and when my T started interacting with us both, he was a completely different person. I can understand that it was because he probably had to be more careful when dealing with me, or more aware of everything he said/conveyed, or maybe he was trying for the old blank slate with me. But either way, I was very very hurt at the change in him and in the fact that he wasn't authentic with me.

With my current T, I feel he is a lot more authentic, but I am really scared off bringing anyone else into my session because of my previous experience.

Also, I notice that with my current T that he'll sometimes chat with the client as they are paying and whatnot and on several occasions he has acted in a very different way than what he has with me. I think he matches his language to the client's and also there is some matching of relating if that makes sense. Like more extroverted chatting with extroverted clients. More reserved with other quieter clients. There were other differences too that I can't put my finger on.

I guess what I'm saying is that even if they are consistent in session with you, I still think they need to be authentic because it's going to come out otherwise.

> Universally it is believed that men can go to work and leave their personal lives at home, unlike women. Do you think this applies to therapists as well?

My T has admitted to me that he hides behind his T role (in regards to self disclosure). But I think this also helps them to compartmentalise their lives. I just think that if they self disclose more, it is harder for them to separate work/other life.

 

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