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Chapter 2. Communicating feelings.

Posted by Dinah on May 26, 2005, at 19:13:46

In reply to Other aspects of Chapter 2, posted by Dinah on May 26, 2005, at 19:09:47

This one threw me a bit, because unlike most of the book, it was something outside my experience.

When she said the relationship was the item that therapists and clients felt least comfortable discussing, except for sex, I was astonished. My therapist has always made it a perfectly ok topic. (Sex too, for that matter). Which is just as well, since it has taken up so much time. All of my issues seem to come up time and time again in the context of our relationship. All the work we're doing now is done with the backdrop of years and years of discussing our relationship in ways that these topics are already open and ready for exploration. I can't imagine a therapist being uncomfortable discussing the relationship. Or sex for that matter. I guess I'm spoiled there.

How do therapists find out what their clients' real issues are if they don't talk about their relationship? Because I lie. Well, not really lie. But I don't think I'd walk in and say I'm an endless well of need. And he certainly would never notice it when I talk of my other relationships. He'd think I was sort of schizoid. So only by focussing on my relationship was he able to see that my pathology was more borderline than schizoid. Don't other therapies get stymied by that? If the relationship between the therapist and client isn't discussed?

 

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poster:Dinah thread:491935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050521/msgs/503322.html