Posted by happyflower on May 25, 2005, at 12:33:36
Yesterday's sessions really affected me so much. When my T said he thought I was very critical of him. But really I was getting too close to him, and wanted to push him away. But the more I think about things today, I am in tears. I realize I do say things that could be taken by other people that I am critical of them. But really I fell very different about them.I think very highly of my T, so if he thinks it, I wonder what other people think. I think I try to be witty, and really I am being sarcastic. I don't mean to, really I like most people. Sometimes knowing the truth about ourselves hurts, but thank goodness my T had the courage to say it to me. He knows I will leave the session and internalize it. I think I would act less defensively if he says I am critical of him than if he says I am critical of everyone. I admit he stuck a nerve in me, and he knows he did, he is very good with me. Most people won't be honest with me about how they precive me, and I didn't have parents that guided me, so in a way he is being a loving parent. Telling me something for my own good, it may hurt me, but it will make me better. I left a message that thanked him for his honesty and it really got to me, and he has given me a lot to think about. I want to be a better communicater, I just need help. I told my husband about what T said, and he agreed with him, and now he is pointing out all my critical statements. auugghhhh! I need to learn to say things differently, how, I don't know, but I am aware of the truth now. Sometimes it is hard knowing that you totally suck. So humbling. :(
poster:happyflower
thread:502726
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050521/msgs/502726.html