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Re: T didn't help-pls help, need advice » Angela2

Posted by Jazzed on May 20, 2005, at 18:14:19

In reply to T didn't help-pls help, need advice, posted by Angela2 on May 20, 2005, at 13:10:26

> Hi babblers. I don't like asking for help... It makes me feel weak. But I don't know what else to do. I'm dying here. Here's my situation: Me and my boyfriend have been together for five months. I like him. I think he's a good guy. But lately, I've been having a lot of doubts about him. 1.) he smokes pot and I don't. 2.) I don't really like his friends, I feel nervous around them, uncomfortable. I can deal with these things when they happen when I am in the moment. But after they happen, I feel upset. Especially the pot part because it jsut bugs me that everyone sits around and gets high while I'm the ONLY ONE sitting there who's sober and clear headed. It isn't fun. I talked to my therapist about it, and she said "so tell him not to smoke around you. I don't think that's too much to ask." So, I did. And he kind of didn't want to, but he agreed. I'm not sure if I even want this. I kind of feel bad that he's not going to smoke just because I'm around. I don't like the idea. I'm afraid it'll be this big thing and I'll end up being embarrassed. But at the same time, writing this, I think ti's good that I'm sticking up for myself. I just don't know if this is how I want to do it. Sometimes I don't mind when he smokes pot, and sometimes I do. It all depends on the situation and how I'm feeling.
> I also have obsessive/intrusive thoughts about his friends and about the pot smoking. Usually, I think about his friends and how I think they're stupid. And I think about the things they have said or done that have bothered me. And I get angry about it while I think about it. It really sucks! because I can't stop. It wasn't so bad when I was in school, but it was there in my head. Now that I'm out of school and have a job doing a very routine thing, I think about it constantly. I told this to my therapist, and she really didn't touch on it at all. I wanted her to tell me tips on how I could stop letting this bother me so much. Of course, I didn't exactly tell her that. So I was wondering, does anyone experience the kind of thing I do with these obsessive thoughts, intrusive thoughts? Or has anyone ever dealt with people they don't like because they have a significant other? Does anyone know what I could tell him about the way I feel abouto his pot smoking? PLEASE HELP. I really need to know what to do. Because this is really bothering me. THANK YOU to anyone who has read this far.
>
>
> Angela2

Hi Angela,

I was in a relationship like this once, and it completely tore me apart. I ended up with all kinds of nerve problems, and HAD to get out. I hope you'll put yourself first and consider how this will affect you long term.

As far as the thoughts, sometimes an antidepressant can help with that. I'd ask her straight out, how do I stop this?

Jazzed


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